Why is it that in our lives, and in how we decide our romantic relationships, we’re burdened with a titanic choice of judgement, in which we all look to make one day, a very choice which can either make our lives bliss, or hell?
We as young adults desperately seeking love and acceptance, are expected by placements beyond us to do this one almost impossible thing. We’re expected without fail, or recanting, to decide one of the hardest life factoring choices which could ever be decided.
Above all things in life we could possibly guess, we’re expected to choose of whom we will, for the lasting years of our mortality, devote our very lives to and love into the very last moments of our breath until where dead and in the ground.
The is the burdenous choice of a the life of monogamous marriage.
How is that we must accurately make such a grand choice as being able to select one soul from the population give all to them and only them?
In an entire world of people, an entire flurry of experiences, differences, cultures, stories, perspectives, for as vast as this Earth is we’re encouraged and expected to choose only one to have and to hold.
This is not of our choosing, it came about way before us. It’s the choosing of our parents, our society, and of the strong religious influences in our lives.
What if you don’t agree with the expectation, however? What if you see it as completely unnecessary to often painstakingly choose simply just one soul to commit your passionate life to?
What’s left for you to do when you simply want to do something different?
It’s a surprise that people who go against what’s called the ‘monogamous’ lifestyle are often famed as ,’youth’ just living out their youth, or just having “fun.”
As if it shouldn’t bother anyone that accepting the “adult” way of doing things such as committing to a life of monogamy is somehow not explained as fun in this same way. At least not after its initial infantile stages.
Fun, is the nonsensical. Fun is just ‘playing the field. Being free to roam and explore, while the adult responsible thing to do is to ‘buckle down and commit.’
How do we not see a problem here?
One answer is because we don’t look towards the practicality of life to choose our own actions, we look towards those who lived before us to see what to do. We look towards our ‘programming,’ or to the rearing by the elders and the cultural instructions of our society.
We don’t practice freedom of choice in our lives, we practice subservience, and it makes us miserable bewildered people as a result.
What is it that monogamy has that connecting with multiple humans, and having multiple unique and genuine experiences doesn’t?
Well for one obvious answer, a lot of recycled monotony throughout the years.
As compared to anything else in our life, in what other circumstances are we expected to select ‘only one’ thing to get us through for the rest of our life?
Imagine if you had to select only one car to have and to drive for the rest of your life? What a ridiculous expectation, but how come?
Because we all know things don’t last forever. So, except for those zealous few who’re actually interested in hobbies like the restoration and maintaining of classics, we would be left with a hunk of junk impossible to move at some point.
And then where would that leave us?
Well, where are most people eventually left in most monogamous relationships when we’re expected to keep the same one for the rest of our lives?
Of course people aren’t cars, but it’s still a very viable example.
For example, imagine having to choose one car to have and to hold always only having only a slightly comprehensive run-down about its specifications, and only test driving it a few times.
Imagine that no matter how it was either able, or not able, to serve you that wouldn’t matter. After you signed on that dotted line, you were just stuck with it, for better or for worse.
Not to mention that many cars can’t be accurately accessed for their longevity until tens of thousands of miles in- yet this would matter not because at the time of buying, your signature meant for-life baby.
How ridiculously frustrating would such a world of expectations be?
Luckily we don’t live in such a world, and just like the world has many things to be enjoyed, we’re allowed to own as many cars as we can afford to enjoy and even better- get rid of them once they no longer positively serve our lives.
Such a thing would be just plain stupid logic for car ownership, but for relationships with people this is the exact opposite?
Excuse my logic but, if we can’t possibly know which car would last and serve us for the rest of our lives, how are we expected to know or have to know which mate will?
Aptly noted that many of us also make these decisions in our relative youth, this a time where we don’t even have compete knowledge of ourselves and couldn’t possibly know what would best serve us as we mature.
Yet, this is the protocol we have left before us, and the silly part is that due to the bigger voices in our communities we often don’t even have a say in it.
Are we pigeons,who lack sense, or are we people?
What are you, and who should be able to tell you what’s right for you?
Apparently almost all of us are raised to let someone, or some thing, tell us what’s right for us and for the large majority, it’s making us downright miserable.
What would it take to change such a thing?
How could we take charge of our actions and our lives?
What would it take to make the subject nature of relationship organisation more practical, and humane in our lives?
What do you think about this, and what does the pondering this cause you to feel about how you choose to have relationships?
Are you served by traditional models, or do they leave you wishing and wanting to have more?
If so continue to follow this blog because this is just the first of many queries about love, life, sex, what they really mean, and what the institutions in place have done to how we feel about their true nature.
If you’re curious, maybe think and ask yourself the question:
What would I do, if I didn’t have to answer for my decisions to anyone and didn’t require to always have my choices accepted?
With that I bid you good-day, and stay safe.